Monday, 21 November 2011

THE FLASHBACK ( By Amar Limbu)

The three-year and seven months of secret detachment from Pramila had disturbed Dev’s quietness of mind and complicated the matter beyond his patience. What he had thought of as his doubts had proved much more to be hidden appreciation of his yearning for her. It was forty three-month since he had left his hometown and come to the beautiful and expensive valley to pursue his bachelor’s degree and master’s degree. In spite of it, memories intermingled with her didn’t keep him away from restlessness.
It was one of the nights of June; he was sitting on an arm chair with a cup of hot coffee. All of sudden his cell phone started vibrating, he received the call. It was his beloved Pramila. They got a very short talk after a long gap. After having talked to her, he looked up in the firmament which was dark. The sound of thunder and lightning hit his ears constantly. Needles of his watch were tickling away steadily. An hour…two hours……. Unexpectedly, he began wondering how much time had passed since he had departed from her last time by watching raindrops patter down the windowpane or smelt the freshness of the monsoon earth. 
In capital city, Pramila came into his mind as a vision, a preoccupation. He didn’t know why he was unable to wipe off her memories who had betrayed him mercilessly. Maybe it was his first beloved. He was seeking the answer why someone’s memory was chasing like a shadow who was supposed to be eliminated from the pond of memory store.
He felt he would meet with an accident if his mind was fully filled up with her memories. She appeared everywhere—market, street, subway, college, office, temple etc. such intense memories usually made him keep a vigil.
Six years ago, Pramila was a schoolgirl of class nine. He used to be lost at her gaze, he had one-sided love and his heart was well filled up with her memories. She was innocent about his monopoly love. No one was to play role of mediator to construct a bridge of recognition between them.
After a long wait they came to be introduced and got a pal via whom they could commute their suppressed feelings. During their school time, they never went on date. None of them could be intrepid to go on date on account of traditional practices and strictness of their parents.
As soon as the HSEB announced the final result of class XII, he sowed a plan in his mind to go to Kathmandu for higher studies. As he determined to omit his hometown, he had thought that his closely growing relation would come to an end.
“Well, I have heard that every guy draws in news environment of Kathmandu and forgets all old friends. I think you’ll never think of what will become of me,” she said desperately after a month of his departure to Kathmandu. He didn’t use to fall asleep unless peering at her photographs. It was his one of the quotidian schedules to glance at her photographs. She used to be over sentimental while communicating by cell phone. It seemed to be getting their relation into more intimate.
“Be careful yourself of everything since you’re living alone. Just keep your mind on study not on something else, and don’t endeavour to think of anyone else.” After listening to it, he said, “You’re away from me, how can you know details of me?”
‘What a stupid! Although you are far off me, my soul chats to yours.’ It pushed his ferment up to the tip of mountain. Days passed sooner, winter came very fast. He came back to hometown for winter vacation. No sooner had he dropped his luggage, he wished to make a meet with her. Those five months of separation seemed not less than five hundred years.
The following day he got an invitation to attend her house. He couldn’t believe his eyes because the lady, who didn’t have a bit intrepidity to talk to him for half an hour during school days, invited as al guest. It really was confusing with her unusual practice.
There was a girl named Devi who used to come twice, sometimes thrice a month being a guest whose relative was a neighbor of Dev. It is human nature that all the beautiful things humans want to own. Dev did not wish to lose anyone of them.
One of the greatest festivals was coming nearer, he gave pledges to them for going to the Kankai River to celebrate and enjoy the festival, Maghesankranti. Maybe destiny had favoured, Devi, who was supposed to go along with him; was forbidden by her nearest relative in whose domicile she had come. Dev thanked God for sweeping obstacles of the way. The day which was mostly awaited came, both Dev and Pramila got inside the bus for the spot where a great mela had taken place. During their stay on the joint seats, they grew ineffable as if they were a newly married couple. By the time they were about to explore their reticence, a bus conductor asked them where they were heading for. “Kankai River” replied Dev. How much is the bus fair?” inquired Dev. He took out his wallet from back pocket and paid. The bus was running, he unfolded an English newspaper, The Kathmandu Post and started reading.
“Kankai, Kankai!”Please come towards the door” a bus assistant was shouting to them. He again folded the newspaper and both of them got off the bus.
They were strolling towards the mob of fair. It was around 150 meters away from the bus stop. They were heading for the mob, however, their movement had indicated uneasy. Peradventure it was their first time of walking together. They were passing by temples. They noticed some pundits, devotees and pilgrims adorn by offering varied scapegoats like goat, pigeon, hens etc. 
“Yesterday I went to a palmist with my aama. He says I will be married to an inter-caste girl. The eldest daughter from the west of my house. The person’s description fit your characteristics. I am delighted. Fate is likely to coalesce us’ said Dev quite seriously. They kept moving forward. After some whiles ‘it is my first experience with a boy if anyone from my village sees. I’ve betrayed my mother for the sake of you. I have convinced her that I would go with my classmates’ said Pramila.
The sunlight was turning yellow; they reached a bus to their hometown. ‘All of my family members have gone to maternal uncle’s home. I am left alone to look after the home, will you stay with me for a night?’ asked Dev. It increased her nervousness. She nodded her head after a short cogitation despite her nervousness. But Dev had a good understanding of his limits; therefore, he letted her go her home. Both got off the bus as the bus reached their place. They departed waving their hands. It was almost dusky. Maybe she had known it was their last meet, but it is still esoteric for the boy. 
Only five-day was left to finish vacation, he happened to hear a confabulation of her matrimonial matter. He took umbrage at confabulate; it was the matter of impossibility for them. But no leaves move unless it is blown by wind. Her matrimonial affair was pervading, all of his friends were talking of her as a serious issue. It grossly offended him. For him, it was the affair to be beyond the horizon. He made a telephonic chat with her. She assured that it was only a gossip made by friends; she concealed the reality and convinced him not to worry of it. It gave him a relief, however, it left him bewildered. After a couple of days, her secrecy came to the light somehow. He found the fact that the confirmation of wedding date was on 17th of Falgun. He groaned and pillow was wet due to much flowing tears. A conclusion emerged in his mind—only the alternative to get rid of her memory was to run off from access to her talking. For him, remaining 5 days were as long as 5 years, so he took a ticket to Kathmandu and set off the following early morning being speechless. He slowly sank to the cool weather of dawn; his heart was full of remorse and eyes in tears. When the bus started running, his deep concentration to her memory was destroyed and he was awakened from a daydream……

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